have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
