I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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