Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
