one two three fourrrrnication!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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