I skipped work to stalk him.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
