It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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