And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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