dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
