i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
