he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
