i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
