tell your sister to shave her snatch
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
