I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
