So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He? As in you personified your dick?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
