They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You are the jesus of drinking
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
