for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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