I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
