there's paper in my vomit.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she peed on how many people?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize