Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
