I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
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My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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