A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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