..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
