It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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