I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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