I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
