i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize