I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
