you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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