people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
