i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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