sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
