week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
