2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Do you still have your period?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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