you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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