is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
