I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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