2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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