Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
