You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
