hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
