Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
