Pants 0. Shit 1.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
