i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
