Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How naked do you want me to be?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
