I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize