she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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