I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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