Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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