Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
