Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
