Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Enjoy the penises
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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