he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
