Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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