Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
