we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
