Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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