Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
