is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
